sharp pain

sometimes I have memories

that I simply cannot reconcile:

sitting here at the pool

thinking about when I took

lessons at the Y,

younger than my daughter is now

having to fight for my life

in the corner of the pool,

Mom knitting by the side

just as I am now.

sometimes I feel nauseous

and other times - like now

I have this almost palpable

achy chest pain.

it is overwhelming...

and I can’t seem to match

the person she was then

to who she is now

most of the time
this sharp pain is kept
secure and hidden inside me
and then I have times - like now
when I find myself
with cheeks wet
by the side of the pool