I have this belief that the Universe and Everything self-corrects. You know, that karma thing. Be nasty in this life and return as an insect for your next one. When I feel wronged, I stay calm (okay, I TRY and stay calm ) secure in my faith that at some point those who did the wronging will feel the pang of the other end of the stick.

But how great would it be to actually see this process in effect?

I think it'd be extremely satisfying to watch this self-correction. With or without a whispered "I told you this'd happen if you kept behaving like that years ago..." to the karma'ed being. Not only would it give you a feeling of vindication, it'd provide 'closure' (a overused word/concept I've always abhorred). You could brush your hands off, paste a satisfied smirk on yer gob, and walk away clean.

And maybe ~ if you knew that someone would be 'taken care of' ~ people wouldn't be so nasty to each other.


THE April Fool

Bright and early, April 1st, I shake my husband awake.

My period's a week late now I say and so I bought a pregnancy test last night and just used it.

And? he says. I'm pregnant! incredulous.

WHAT?! you CAN'T be!!

Well, I am... it only takes once, you know...

I can't tease for too long and after waiting a couple of long seconds lean in and whisper April Fool's...

fast forward to the afternoon, I'm sitting down reliving this scene in my head, smirking slightly

and it hits me

why I CAN'T be pregnant

because my husband has had that very special medical procedure given to Daddies Who Are Finished Having Children.

Who's the Fool now??



Because he will be a large dog - PWDs range from 42 to 60 lbs - I wanted him to be well trained. So we first went to Puppy Kindergarten, where he learned to socialize with the other puppies, and was introduced to basic obedience with a wee bit of agility for fun on the last day. Along with competing in Puppy Olympics. All good fun, and he did really well... caught on quickly to the commands and remembered them from week to week.

And then we enrolled in the Beginner level obedience class. For the past 6 weeks I've endured frustration every week. Give him a command and he'd bark at me. Reprimand that and he'd rebel another way. He didn't do much better at home. He'd learnt some things but I seemed to arrive home from class every week asking someone else to take him so I could get myself a glass of wine and go sit by myself somewhere. (like I need an excuse to pour myself a glass of red...)

I happened to be conversing by email with the breeder yesterday and mentioned in passing that there was no way he was gonna pass Beginner's, giving her a couple of examples of how he behaves. She totally called me on them - saying that he was 'making excuses' and to not put up with it. So a couple of hours before his final test I challenged him, eventually physically restraining him into a sit/stay. First of all he did the ragdoll manouvre that every human two-year-old pulls at some point. You know the one, where their bones become temporarily nonexistent and they ooze over your arms? Yeah, he did that. He also put his open mouth around my forearm, as if to say "I could totally bite you right now". But once I had him in that sit/stay he stayed. So then I tried doing a down/stay. First time he rebelled. It looked like this:

The down/stay had to be maintained for two minutes, so I made him hold the above rebelled version for four.

He hasn't done it again. He has listened and obeyed me every since that moment.
And not only did he pass his Beginner's test, he aced it.


this time last year

I was in Whistler, drinking Gimlets. And ziplining!
I was crossing the Ts and dotting the Is for the Trip.
I was wondering what life would be like - and how the Trip would've gone.
I was hoping to have a dog, but didn't really expect it to be.