parental posts

I've had these seemingly random draft posts collecting dust on here. Or, maybe they've just been fermenting. Hopefully nothing explodes. I've decided to squeeze them all together and see if something gels.

I have a couple of on-line friends who are at a younger stage of parenthood. When I read their blogs, I do a number of things: quietly smile and nod first of all... it's amazing how similar things are sometimes no? It also brings back memories of my own, and they feel further away with each passing year. It also shines a light on just how much has changed. How much my children have grown. Yet amazingly, I haven't aged a bit!!

Just this weekend I felt it: another slight apron string snapped. A very subtle one, no big milestone happened, I just felt a ping.

as an aside: I solumnly do swear, that if I ever become a Grandmother: I will keep my big mouth shut, my nose out of their business, my opinions to myself, help as they see fit... etc etc etc. My Mom and I do not have a good history, but if there's one thing she's done amazingly well is to help how I've needed help and keep all her opinions to herself. I know what she thinks about things (at least, I think I do) but she has never, ever given me grief about my child-rearing. wow, something positive about my Mom... think I'd better share this one with her!

"You need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father."  -- Tod, in Parenthood, 1989

I would change 'father' to 'parent'. Cuz I've seen a fair share of asshole mothers too. Actually, given that I've dealt with more mothers than fathers I'd say I've seen more maternal assholes than paternal.

I have had this quote run through my head too many times to count. I find it amazing that there are so many wounded children walking around in grown up bodies, messing things up for the next generation.

Except that: I ultimately believe that we humans are an incredibly resilient species. I chose to believe that - even though I see the asshole behaviour - we human peoples have an amazing capacity to also heal. And I may not see that healing behaviour.

What It's Like Being a Teen Girl
I think my sister referred to this one on Facebook (?), about the time when a teen suicide made headlines here in Canada.
I've been lucky enough to not have such negative experiences, but I sure have heard a lot of this kinda thing from other friends. Makes me livid.

ok, so let's end on a postive note, shall we?
10 Habits to Stengthen Your Relationship With Your Child
Can I brag a bit here? I do... all of these... seriously! well, except for all that f&*king hugging. I've read a lot of parenting articles and books and websites; this is the first time I've seen in print what I believe is the best way to live with kids. Dealing with the emotions behind the behaviour - oh! so true!! Especially when they get older; mine are teens now and this article seems to be geared towards parents who are still reading articles (grin). The parenting sites and magazines are loaded with stuff for younger kids; once they get to be the age that my kids are... not so much. Or: it deals with all the bad behaviour and how to fix it in my age range.

OK, I think I have mined the parenthood angle. At least for me. This post feels like a jumble of tenuously connected thoughts. Look around at those links above, let some things ferment in you too and see what comments bubble up.

And it feels like it needs some photos, but I've been searching for appropriate ones for a couple of weeks now and nothing is making itself obvious... so I'm just going to click publish and move on.

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