consumed

Boy, how do I put this... I know, I'll blurt it out:

onceuponatime I was afraid to eat in public.

Weird, huh? I was paralyzed by the thought of having to sit and let people see me eat. Afraid that someone, anyone would see me eating and tell me off. That I wasn't allowed to eat. The thought of being out in public, potentially at a hungry time could make me hyperventilate. Seriously, just ask Joe.

I can remember giving myself an assignment during therapy; I had to go to the mall, get a cup of coffee and sit in the food court and drink it. By myself. I think I made it through half a small cup the first time.

Don't worry, things got better. I got better.

Jump forward to present day. I was stuck in the mall across the street from our car dealership whilst they poked and prodded and cleaned and refilled the car for almost five hours. At some point I had a hungry time. Most of the time was spending shopping, blissfully alone. (I'm almost finished my xmas shopping!)

So I headed to the obligatory (rhymes with pergatory) food court, got myself something and found a table. I was comfortably engaged in reading when all of the sudden it hit me just how far I'd come. And yes, the therapy helped... but surprisingly it was the Trip that we'all went on last year that has made the difference. It's been about a year-and-a-half since we took the Family Trip (one that is still talked about fondly at least once a week) and I still feel the confidence I gained from doing that travelling.

A proud little moment, an epiphany of sorts, sitting in that food court... sometimes I'm proud of me.