curriculum vitae

Geez, I really struggled in school. So when my daughter showed me a video recently - posted on Facebook by my sister - wee tears sprang to my eyes. How I wish I had had the gumption to state aloud that an exam result shall not define my fate. Or my worth, in my case...

And then a whole lot of stuff started whirling around inside my head about schooling. I've been trying to stay positive when presented with the query "why do I have to learn this!!!" flung in my face during homework. It's tough. And: I hate homework. I already DID homework!!

We read Wuthering Heights in high school. Grade 12 if I remember correctly. I slogged through that book, not understanding a single syllable that Kathy's family's gardener uttered. After a while I would just skim his parts and hope that whatever he said would be illuminated contextually at a later point. 

(Luckily my English teacher read aloud the gardener's parts in full brogue. Suddenly the jibberish made some sort of sense!) 

Then there was Shakespeare - one play a year. Another slogfest. I never knew how funny, romantic, current, lewd... heck - downright entertaining! - his plays could be until I saw them in action either in play form or a movie. 

My son is at the slogfest stage now. Although he says that they don't just sit in class and take turns destroying the various characters by reading aloud. I'm not sure exactly how they do it, but given how much different his other subjects have changed since I was in high school I'm sure Bill isn't spinning quite so fast in his grave these days.

Thanks to one of my cousins, my kids have been priviledged enough to experience Shakespeare as a really funny play long before now. This cousin acts in a company that modernizes Shakespearean plays all the while staying true to the text. She was in their production of Henry V last summer, and her own 8 yr old son ended up knowing great swaths of the play verbatim.

Just the other day, my son announced that he felt sorry for his cousin... saying that all he's known so far is how funny and entertaining Shakespeare can be. 

"Once he gets to high school, he won't even recognize these plays! ... he's in for a rough time..."

So maybe I've been lucky to suffer through the poorly read production of The Merchant of Venice, and Hamlet et al and then be illuminated. I can't imagine how it would be the other way. 

Hopefully by the time my cousin's son is in high school, the curriculum will have evolved even more. 

P is the meanest girl letter

Hey!

My daughter has synaesthesia too! And yes, she got it from me. It's incurable and we wouldn't have it any other way.

I discovered this from the discussion that we had in the car en route to (what else) synchro practice recently. Gave me the shivers... so cool that she and I have this in common!

So we started comparing: for me A is red, and for her: navy blue, B is brown (me) and yellow (her), C is yellow/green. And so on. 

But then she went further and listed their personalities and genders: A is (definitely) a boy - and an irritating one at that, B is a (tom)girl, C is a boy, but a nice one.

I started to compare, and realized that - when pressed - my letters had genders too. No personalities though... maybe I've outgrown that aspect.

When we got down to P:

"oh..."
she said, shaking her head a bit

"P is a mean letter. A girl: P is the meanest girl letter."

parental posts

I've had these seemingly random draft posts collecting dust on here. Or, maybe they've just been fermenting. Hopefully nothing explodes. I've decided to squeeze them all together and see if something gels.


I have a couple of on-line friends who are at a younger stage of parenthood. When I read their blogs, I do a number of things: quietly smile and nod first of all... it's amazing how similar things are sometimes no? It also brings back memories of my own, and they feel further away with each passing year. It also shines a light on just how much has changed. How much my children have grown. Yet amazingly, I haven't aged a bit!!

Just this weekend I felt it: another slight apron string snapped. A very subtle one, no big milestone happened, I just felt a ping.

as an aside: I solumnly do swear, that if I ever become a Grandmother: I will keep my big mouth shut, my nose out of their business, my opinions to myself, help as they see fit... etc etc etc. My Mom and I do not have a good history, but if there's one thing she's done amazingly well is to help how I've needed help and keep all her opinions to herself. I know what she thinks about things (at least, I think I do) but she has never, ever given me grief about my child-rearing. wow, something positive about my Mom... think I'd better share this one with her!

"You need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father."  -- Tod, in Parenthood, 1989

I would change 'father' to 'parent'. Cuz I've seen a fair share of asshole mothers too. Actually, given that I've dealt with more mothers than fathers I'd say I've seen more maternal assholes than paternal.

I have had this quote run through my head too many times to count. I find it amazing that there are so many wounded children walking around in grown up bodies, messing things up for the next generation.

Except that: I ultimately believe that we humans are an incredibly resilient species. I chose to believe that - even though I see the asshole behaviour - we human peoples have an amazing capacity to also heal. And I may not see that healing behaviour.



What It's Like Being a Teen Girl
I think my sister referred to this one on Facebook (?), about the time when a teen suicide made headlines here in Canada.
I've been lucky enough to not have such negative experiences, but I sure have heard a lot of this kinda thing from other friends. Makes me livid.



ok, so let's end on a postive note, shall we?
10 Habits to Stengthen Your Relationship With Your Child
Can I brag a bit here? I do... all of these... seriously! well, except for all that f&*king hugging. I've read a lot of parenting articles and books and websites; this is the first time I've seen in print what I believe is the best way to live with kids. Dealing with the emotions behind the behaviour - oh! so true!! Especially when they get older; mine are teens now and this article seems to be geared towards parents who are still reading articles (grin). The parenting sites and magazines are loaded with stuff for younger kids; once they get to be the age that my kids are... not so much. Or: it deals with all the bad behaviour and how to fix it in my age range.


OK, I think I have mined the parenthood angle. At least for me. This post feels like a jumble of tenuously connected thoughts. Look around at those links above, let some things ferment in you too and see what comments bubble up.

And it feels like it needs some photos, but I've been searching for appropriate ones for a couple of weeks now and nothing is making itself obvious... so I'm just going to click publish and move on.

everything old is... new?... again...?

shortbread swirls on left and ice cream cone cupcakes on right

I saw these photos recently on Pinterest. Both with comments that showed that the Pinners were very impressed with these yummies. Thing is: my Mom has been making these since I was very very young. And she's in her 70s now. When I see them my inner teen cringes ever so slightly...

They've gone full circle: once impressive, then dated and now reborn as cute!

But fellow Pinners: please... leave the Velveeta right where it is.

the price of modernity, or just another 1st world problem

I’m so confused. 

We recently gifted an iPhone5 to the 15 yr old son. And an iPhone4S to the 13 yr old daughter. Still feeling guilty for these; like I’m spoiling them, but it turned out to be the best choice for what we needed as a family. Move along.

So, yeah now we have four iPhones for four people. All with the same carrier. 

The carrier also supplies us with our internets, cable TV, and home phone. Do we need a home phone now...?  Ummm, yeah. The grandparents... not to mention telemarketers... but we hardly answer it anymore! My criterion: if I don’t recognize the number or name, I don’t pick up. 

I have never liked picking it up. I am the oldest of three girls born close together and yet 

“THREE teenaged girls in the house; why can NONE of you pick up the phone??!” was heard frequently during those teen years.

Jan 2011 I called and upped our internet bandwidth from whatever measly amount it was to 60 GB. Buddy on the phone says “did you just get Netflix?” yeah: it came to Canada, was free for the first month, and I gorged on MadMen. 

As of Sept 2012 - count with me, that’s... 21 months - we’re up to 250GB. And that my friends is the highest tier, the mostest bandwidth they offer.

Now, in Nov, and the daughter’s phone has blown through the 1GB data plan on our family plan. So that needs to be addressed...

Then there’s the TV. We increasingly feel like we don’t watch it that much, but I’ve grown up watching TV shows on, umm, the TV. And my husband still watches the nightly news. I frequently join him. He also still reads a morning paper too...

I do now watch some shows on the computer, and YouTube plays more in the house than the TV. But if we bailed on cable and went the AppleTV route, I can’t imagine the re-organization it would take. Not to mention the maintenance. As it is I don’t keep up with the IT demands of the various individuals in this home organization what with an iMac, two MacBooks, two iPads, and the aforementioned iPhones. There’s a couple of PCs thrown in for balance too...

This is changing so fast, my head is spinning. Will someone please figure this all out - cable or streaming, Beta or VHS, BluRay or HD - and then let me know? Because this arrangement has to change. If it continues like this much longer our monthly technology bill will approach our mortgage payment.

Shocking, no? I'll wait while you finish gaping. That's what my husband did with me when he made this comparison recently.

And for the life of me, I cannot figure out how to find answers to these problems... my other Mummy friends with kids the same age haven't 'spoiled' their kids like this. Or they're not online as much as me so their needs lie elsewhere. 

Anybody else confused??

will suffer for ca$h. no, not really...

My 15 yr old son received an award today. Two awards to be precise, but the second one is the one that caused such hilarity for me. 

He made the honour roll last year (but the awards ceremony was today), and since he was in the first group up to the stage, and his name is near the beginning of the alphabet he was the fifth kid (of about 400... million) across the stage to receive this first award. I dutifully video recorded it since my husband couldn't be there, turned the camcorder off and sat there thinking now what? 

I seriously contemplated sneaking out. My kid's done, all I was doing was sitting and clapping. But, I was good... I thought about how the other parents would feel, me bothering them to excuse myself exiting the row. It was one hour out of my life; surely I could sit and enjoy the celebratory vibe in the auditorium.

An hour later, we're nearing the end as it's the last of the special awards  phew  and I'm mentally already out of the school when they announce my son's name again. For a split second I process it as "huh, they just called someone who has the same name..." before I realize that he's won another award! Surprise!

I scramble to get the camcorder turned on and barely manage to capture him receiving this unexpected extra award. For 'achieving academic success while handling challenges'. (?)

Afterwards, in the lobby:

"Wow! Congratulations... did you know you were getting that one?"
"No..."
"Huh... what did you get it for?"
"I have no idea...!"

We both burst out laughing.

He has had some anxiety issues in the past, but they were very much under control last year. I leave the school grinning, mentally shaking my head. Definitely not a helicopter mom, I think.

When he gets home from school he tells me that another student told him that this award usually comes with money. He looks in the envelope that came with the plaque and sure enough there's a cheque for $200!

When I texted my sister the news she responded:

Suweeet! People who overcome challenges deserve cold, hard cash. 

sharp pain

sometimes I have memories

that I simply cannot reconcile:

sitting here at the pool

thinking about when I took

lessons at the Y,

younger than my daughter is now

having to fight for my life

in the corner of the pool,

Mom knitting by the side

just as I am now.

sometimes I feel nauseous

and other times - like now

I have this almost palpable

achy chest pain.

it is overwhelming...

and I can’t seem to match

the person she was then

to who she is now

most of the time
this sharp pain is kept
secure and hidden inside me
and then I have times - like now
when I find myself
with cheeks wet
by the side of the pool

7 lessons from my dog

When someone arrives, run to the front door to greet them.

If someone is willing to rub your belly, it doesn't matter how silly you look... just get comfy.

At the end of a long day, nothing beats a cuddle on the couch.

Waiting patiently while your dinner is prepared is far more productive in the end than whining for it.

Taking your collar off at the end of the day... one of the best feelings!

Regular grooming is essential. It is a hassle though...

Getting out of the house for a nice long walk does a body good, both physically and mentally.

Blaze on the dock at Bird Lake

a surprise in the cupboard

The milk, incorrectly stored I believe. Found this morning, and I'm guessing put there last night by a very tired family member...

occasionally ugly

We've been going camping for eight years now. Six sites together, about twenty people (all family), the last week of the summer.

We books sites months before so we can get them all together, where we want them. Which is right across from the comfort station: showers and flush toilets. When we started the kids were all young enough to require chaperones for the trip to the toilet. (now it's the older ones - the generation ahead of me - who need to be close in the middle of the night) >smirk<

I like camping. Grew up on it, did some back woods canoe trips as a teen and 20something. This week of car camping isn't really my idea of what camping is... it's more like living like you do at home but with a dirt floor. Especially since now you can buy just about anything for your campsite... even an propane oven.

But the rest of the gang that I hang with for this week... well, let's just say that most feel the need to have a daily shower. The idea of not having one and all the gels and smells that go with it everyday is enough to make some shudder. Me? ... not so much. As a matter of fact, I didn't trek over and queue for a shower the entire week! We were in the water every day, and two evenings it was so hot that the very last thing I did was lie back, floating in the lake while admiring all the stars. How often do you get a chance to do that?

Now, I really did appreciate that first shower back home. Mere hours after we'd pulled into the driveway. But there was something about staying 'dirty' while camping. I'm cringing, but at the risk of sounded too crunchy granola... it somehow felt more organic to clean up by soaking in a lake and not sudsing with smells.

Then I read this post today and I think I figured out why I chose to stay organic. I was appreciating my version of being ugly.

time, never enough

I decided to play along with the @shuttersisters on instagram this month. Today's prompt was time.

Hunh. Well now, THAT'S appropriate...! I thought. Because this morning - day two of the new school year for us - time was the one commodity that just didn't seem to be available enough.

Had to drag them both out of bed this morning, even though both of their alarms were actively trying to alarm them awake. Teens, sheesh. (which they have become, despite assuring me repeatedly when they were younger that they'd NEVER become a one of those nasty beings they derided back then... everything from graffiti to global warming: "tsk - TEENagers!")

One's got a lovely rhinovirus busy trying to escape his nose repeatedly and says his throat feels like it's lined with sandpaper... the other's wardrobe is sadly lacking on anything to wear. All I want to do is wade through the camping gear waiting to be washed in the kitchen to get to the coffee maker...

Then, just mere minutes before it's time for them to push off, one informs me that the clock in her classroom is broken and it's driving her nuts. She rushes around to find one of her working watches but is unsuccessful. Probably because she - like most teens - doesn't use a watch anymore but tells time with a cell phone (or iPod touch in her case). As do I, I must admit.

So she ended up borrowing my necklace. 

funhouse

les kids in 2006

spotted shopping

silliness

hammocks rock!

relax. this ain't the mainland...

Maybe I'll start early. I'm going to be off-grid for almost two weeks in August; at the cottage and then camping. Cellular service is spotty, and either no electricity (while camping) or only dial-up service available (at the cottage). So accessing the Net will be difficult, or just plain far too frustrating.

The assignment? Just post photos. Daily. To take a break from it all...

(another) successful surfing lesson

breathe

sunset on Pettinger Point, Cox Bay

view from the hot tub

At Long Beach Lodge Resort, Tofino BC.

from the hot tub

Yeah, it was rough. Actually, the roughest thing was getting a photo with the sun shining! A fog bank sat right off (and sometimes on) the beach. Once Neal and Joe went out body surfing and the fog was so thick that when they turned around they couldn't see the shore. 

Not that I'm complaining, mind you. Back in Ontario we're having a stinkin' hot summer so far. (not looking forward to having to go back into that...)

thirTEEN

Maeve, on her 13th birthday