for me

Part of the reason why I keep this blog going is to document. Primarily for me. 

For the past two years I have been working on a goal. To tidy things up, put things away, and then? ...then to maintain the tidyness. 

Here is some recent proof:

You can not imagine just how proud I am. However I have wrenched my arm patting myself on my back...

when I go into the woods

pre-owned Polaroid SX-70, Impossible Project film,

dark/light dialled all the way to 'dark',

image protected from light (especially during first 4 sec),

30min develop in bra (so it's kept warm)

SUCCESS!!

I got a dog, big enough that he'd need longer daily walks

(sometimes I curse my energetic self).

The woods where we walk

are chockablock full

of beautiful photos

so I take some back home 

with me.

freezing rain today on the burning bush seeds

staidHome

I think the first time I was required to create a username was when I joined Ravelry in 2007. At that time I was coming to grips with the fact that I was probably never returning to the paid workforce. I had prepared for, longed for... the time when I would be Working. I loved my jobs: three in six years, all in research labs doing basic benchwork. Something - the only thing - that I had ever wanted to do.

After I had decided to embark on the adventure of parenthood, it became clear to me that there was no reason to return to work. Other than personal fulfillment - which yes is a reason in and of itself, but not enough to potentially throw many things into a tizzy around me. Mostly me.

My Mom had stayed home. She didn't seem to like being at home. My absolutely completely and utterly worst fear was to end up like my Mom. Stuck. At home.

And yet what were the Fates throwing me? Just exactly that. Breathe in, Breathe out.

So when I was staring at the screen tapping finger against cheek I tried to think of one concise expression to sum me up. I didn't go back to work... I: Stayed Home.

Then, a play on words. Staid: sedate, respectable, and unadventurous. One image that pops uninvited into one's head when picturing a SAHM. That ain't me. But sticking my tongue in my cheek and using that word would be very much me. Capitolized the H just cuz.

So there you have it.


addendum: I miss Science. Less now than 10 years ago, but I do still miss it. However I am 100% sure that being staidHome is the right thing for me. There is no bitterness in me, and I am NOT my Mom.

good morning, Willow

beside Hope Garden
Kilborn Allotment Gardens

(So, I'm starting early on The August Break 2012. I'm going to be absent for part of the month, so I'm giving myself some leeway here...)